Transformers

Post by **Daniel** » October 23rd, 2007, 3:39 pm

I was expecting a 3 myself. Good review, Ben! I'll catch this eventually... maybe on TV.

Post by **Ben** » October 23rd, 2007, 6:27 pm

Thanks...I guess the extras prompted me to give it a 4...it <I>is</I> well made with some awesome effects.

But...that's it. I thought a 4 was pretty "ouch" for a big movie like this.

Post by **Daniel** » October 23rd, 2007, 10:37 pm

Ben wrote:I guess the extras prompted me to give it a 4...

Ah, I would've guessed it was the slipcover.

Post by **YCougar** » October 31st, 2007, 5:02 pm

Finally did see this with my friend's family.

Now as a preface, I'll say that I kinda missed out on the whole Transformers thing in the '80s. I remember seeing commercials for the toys while I was watching my Saturday morning cartoons, but nothing else. The concept is vaguely interesting, but always felt like a very testosterone/boy-driven thing... giant machines beating each other up and all.

So I watch this movie and while the effects and robots themselves looked great (can you imagine how long a single transformation would take in animation? Yikes!) it was indeed too long, and had a ton of extraneous human characters I didn't care about. The "family" discussion was really awkward and seemed to be thrown in there to get teenage boys to laugh because it was a "s*x" joke (

)... in fact there were a lot of random sex and bodily-function jokes throughout that weren't really funny and were just crass.

I guess my biggest beef was that for a movie entitled "Transformers," there weren't enough Transformers in it. Probably a better title would have been "Insecure Boy and His Alien Robot Car." The robots didn't really get personalities except for Bumblebee (though Jazz[?] got saddled with a stereotype to ease things along) and I had trouble telling them apart during the final battle.

I suppose I wanted to like it, but really couldn't because the substance just wasn't there.

Or was I expecting too much from a Michael Bay movie?

Code Horror · Post by **Code Horror** » November 1st, 2007, 3:48 pm

Well Transformers is still No. 1 on DVD Sales and Rentals for 2 weeks, it even beat Meet the Robinsons, interesting kids prefer giant robots over a kid who time travels to the future.

Post by **Ben** » November 1st, 2007, 9:16 pm

I think it's just because there are more desperate teenagers out there, really. And since TFs was pitched as a kids/family pic, I think it's getting a lot of MTR's business instead, but there will be a lot of disappointed people!

Code Horror · Post by **Code Horror** » November 1st, 2007, 10:20 pm

Ben wrote:I think it's just because there are more desperate teenagers out there, really. And since TFs was pitched as a kids/family pic, I think it's getting a lot of MTR's business instead, but there will be a lot of disappointed people!

Why would teenagers be desperate? That movie is the reason why people like Transformers again so I doubt people would be disappointed about the film.

Post by **Ben** » November 2nd, 2007, 9:08 am

I didn't want to use the word "horny". And no, not everyone likes Transformers again, and certainly not everyone who saw the film actually enjoyed it. I know people who are massive TFs fans and some thought it was "meh" and some actually got put off the whole TFs thing for a while. They've got back into it, but the DVD is off their radar, despite the obvious good sales before you throw that back at me.

Simple joys for simple folk. Remember that some of the biggest hits in movie history have been stinkers, while some of the best movies ever made were too good for their own good at the box office.

And that, without wanting to waste another sec of my life on a pretty bad movie, is all I have to say about that, to quote a much better, emotional and inspiring summer blockbuster from a good few years ago.

Code Horror · Post by **Code Horror** » November 2nd, 2007, 1:58 pm

Still thanks to this movie Transformers is getting new films, I mean before the film came the number of attendees at Botcon rose from 1,0000 to 8,0000 attendees.

Post by **Dacey** » November 3rd, 2007, 10:02 am

And that, without wanting to waste another sec of my life on a pretty bad movie, is all I have to say about that, to quote a much better, emotional and inspiring summer blockbuster from a good few years ago.

"Forest Gump", right?

Post by **Ben** » November 3rd, 2007, 10:26 am

Add an "r" into Forrest and you got it!

Code Horror · Post by **Code Horror** » November 3rd, 2007, 12:46 pm

Well Transformers was just ment to be a big fun film to watch. I mean who wouldn't want to see giant robots kicking the crud out of each other on the big screen?

Post by **Ben** » November 3rd, 2007, 3:17 pm

As I said in my review...great <I>concept</I> but boring in practice.

Hey, you and a lot of other people liked it. Many others didn't.

End of story. Stop trying to impress your opinion on this movie. Relax, you're guaranteed at least one more and hopefully second time around will be more enjoyable for everyone.

And that really is my last word.

Post by **ShyViolet** » December 8th, 2007, 8:39 pm

Love this excerpt from the Transformers editing room piece!!

(edited for content/profanity on site)

http://www.the-editing-room.com/

By: Rod Hilton on Jul 20th, 2007

Suddenly, BUMBLEBEE rescues SHIA. There is a mess of incomprehensible, blurry metal on the screen. We assume robots are FIGHTING and that it KICKS A**.

SHIA LABEOUF

God, the movie is so cheesy it almost seems like Michael Bay is satirizing his own style.

Eventually, BARRICADE is destroyed, though not enough to prevent it from showing up later in the movie. Also, BUMBLEBEE converts itself into a modern CAMARO.

SHIA LABEOUF

Wait, transformers can just turn into a completely different machines whenever they want? That completely invalidates the premise. Why does Bumblebee retain aspects of the Camaro when in robot mode if he could just shapeshift into any kind of robot he wants at will?

CHEVROLET

So that we can sell cars, moron. What do you think the point of the movie is, to explore the human condition? Chevrolet: An American Revolution.

INT. GOVERNMENT AGENCY

RACHAEL TAYLOR visits ANTHONY ANDERSON.

ANTHONY ANDERSON

I’m fat! And black! That’s f*****g comedy gold right there!

RACHAEL TAYLOR

Anthony, I need your help.

ANTHONY ANDERSON

With figuring out what’s hacking into the government computers?

RACHAEL TAYLOR

No, I just need character that’s even more worthless than me so that I seem relevant to the story.

They fail to figure out what is hacking the computers, then they are locked up in an interrogation room, thereby ensuring that they can’t accomplish anything in the movie at all.

EXT. CALIFORNIA

More TRANSFORMERS present themselves to SHIA.

PETER CULLEN

I am Peter Cullen, leader of the Autobots. We learned English using the internet.

SHIA LABEOUF

Didn’t you guys just arrive in comets? How did you have internet access?

PETER CULLEN

Umm…

SHIA LABEOUF

It’s a crime someone as breathtakingly stupid as Michael Bay gets to be so rich.

The TRANSFORMERS and SHIA go to SHIA’S HOUSE.

PETER CULLEN

When your great, great grandfather found evil robot Hugo Weaving in the arctic, he accidentally activated him, which resulted in his location being imprinted on the glasses you tried to sell on eBay. And when I say location, I am referring to the location that Hugo would later be transported to by your government.

SHIA LABEOUF

…

MEGAN FOX

I can’t believe someone made a movie where the scenes in which gigantic toy robots fight each other are the LEAST ridiculous scenes in it.

The GIANT F*****G ROBOTS ruin the flower garden and try to avoid being seen by SHIA’S PARENTS.

SHIA LABEOUF

When did this movie turn into an episode of ALF? Can we get to the part of the movie where robots fight and Michael Bay bukkakes my childhood?

All of the human characters met so far are transported to HOOVER DAM, secret location of HUGO WEAVING.

INT. HOOVER DAM

JOHN TURTURRO introduces himself to everyone.

JOHN TUTURRO

Hello one-dimensional human characters. I am the leader of an overused film cliche: a secret agency that knew about the giant robots all along. We’ve been hiding this huge cube, the MacGuffinSpark. It contains energy that turns ordinary electronic and mechanical devices into homicidal robots.

RACHAEL TAYLOR

But didn’t the MacGuffinSpark also make the autobots? How come they aren’t evil?

DIRECTOR MICHAEL BAY

STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS IT’S TIME TO BLOW SOMETHING UP!

All of the DECEPTICONS and AUTOBOTS converge for a massive battle. HUGO WEAVING awakens from his robocoma.

HUGO WEAVING

Raowwwr! I’m going to kill you, Peter Cullen!

PETER CULLEN

You speak English, too?

HUGO WEAVING

Um… 19th century internet?

All of the GIANT F*****G ROBOTS fight each other as MICHAEL BAY spends his entire special effects budget.

MICHAEL BAY

NOTICE HOW ALL OF THE BAD ROBOTS ARE AUTHORITARIAN SYMBOLS LIKE MILITARY AND POLICE VEHICLES WHILE THE GOOD ROBOTS ARE SPORTS CARS AND AMBULANCES? I’M A SUBTLE POLITICAL COMMENTATOR NOW OKAY SO LET’S CRASH THROUGH SOME BUILDINGS!

HUGO WEAVING

Why do you protect these humans, Peter? Humans are too violent to live.

PETER CULLEN

This from a guy that used to transform into a pistol?

HUGO WEAVING

Look, the 80’s were a long time ago. I experimented, okay? I was in college and I thought maybe I could be a gun for a while. It’s cool, I’m 100% Alien Jet now.

BUMBLEBEE makes the MacGuffinSpark small enough for SHIA to carry around.

JOSH DUHAMEL

Shia, you have to get to the roof of some building. A helicopter will pick you up and take you to safety.

SHIA LABEOUF

How? Two of the bad guys are jets and another is a military chopper. Can this helicopter teleport or something?

JOSH DUHAMEL

Michael Bay doesn’t know how to direct an action sequence without someone needing to get to run toward something, so you better get moving before the movie gets boring again.

SHIA LABEOUF

On my way. I don’t think I could endure another 20 minutes of robots breaking my lawn furniture.

HUGO WEAVING chases SHIA toward a helicopter that he could easily shoot down once SHIA is on board.

HUGO WEAVING

Give me that MacGuffinSpark, boy! With it, I can turn thousands of household items into robots, all of which I could sell as toys! Mwa-ha-ha!

SHIA turns around and points the MacGuffinSpark at HUGO, which kills him.

MEGAN FOX

What the hell? Did you just kill him using the very item he was trying to acquire? How did you know that would work?

SHIA LABEOUF

I tried to think of the most nonsensical ending the movie could have, and I knew that’s what Michael Bay would do.

Everyone decides to sink HUGO rather than DESTROY him for some reason.

PETER CULLEN (V.O.)

We’ve now made Earth our home. We stay in lame-o vehicle mode all of the time now, watching over humanity, and waiting for the sequel.

BUMBLEBEE

Stay through the credits if you want to endure more godawful whiny rock music.

END

Post by **Dacey** » December 8th, 2007, 9:44 pm

Some of that was too funny.

Although, to be fair, I *did* kinda like the movie.